onlyyouneedtoknow

Jenna

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Sometimes Im suprised that Ive Lasted this long. by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Sometimes Im suprised that Ive Lasted this long.

Sometimes Im suprised that Ive survived this long. Im second guessing my words Ive been here before you see, judging the best parts of me. Everytime I come back, Im less and less suprised. I will always have myself who said I need anything else? I take back what I said about people I was the confused one all along Ignorance is bliss the fairttales told I never new a lie so bold. Come back with me and look again, I see things differently, wasent the the reason we where together You promised me forever.

The days grow dark by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

The days grow dark

The days grow dark as the climax comes to an end The pinicall of my life slowly fading from view That few moments where all I felt was the warmth of his skin, and the blood rush to my face. The normalitity was breath taking The colours vivid and bright I have never seen such beautiful words or such beautiful shades of green in my life. Jungle Green, Sargasso Green, Rush Green, colours that I have never seen. I try to remind myself of how hard I tried; to be normal, to not feel alone and lost, to see the silver lining of every storm cloud. But Ive been pushed as far as I can go So much that I cant even hold my own. Im running out of time, and

I struggle to breathe by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

I struggle to breathe

I struggle to breathe Its maddening I know My soul screams to be set free In a way that I do not know Held here by a decision made so long ago an unfairness that will always haunt me I shame I will always know My soul is crumbling to a depth I have never felt while my stone structure skin takes damage a pain I will never really feel My sorrow comes from knowing all to well that my happiness is not free that I will never fall into place never feel completely free Even know when I have won my victory The horrors of the battle haunt me as I try to move forward no end in sight to see These thoughts are the most damaging I wish I didnt know I

For as long as I can rmember, by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

For as long as I can rmember,

For as long as I can rmember, Ive had this empty space next to my heart. Im not saying that Im broke, or that I was always this way. But, one day I was and I cant remember exactly why. It was like one day I whole and the next day I didnt. I stopped noticing the space as much. My heart grew stronger, and stopped letting people in. Walls where errected where once upon a time I lived carefree. I didnt know what was happening to me, and I still dont. I would wait all day to sleep, and spend my time in the dark. When the sun set I was most happy. Mostly because the world was so different. It matched my feelings so well. The contrast between sh

Colours by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Colours

In my happiest moments I am never safe open and unbroken I sing the song of freedom and happiness the sky is brighter my music sings to my soul lingering, to fill itself with the final words closed eyed and floating I feel complete slowly a darkness slips in I know it is there whispering waitingIi float towards it sensing the pain wanting to fix it convinced that my whole heart could be the answer its to late now the gun fire is raining down upon me startled to life by the deafening screams of dying souls narrowly dodging the missiles covering my open wounds I catch the last flicker of brightness, freedom and hope that

Mirrors. by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Mirrors.

Transition slowly the mirror stares back at me i blink my eyes watching them cover the colour i expect something but nothing prevails breathing deely my eyes flash to my hands still the same cold and nimble my hands rise up conecting reflection with flesh my fingertips chill witht he touch hard and lifeless but there is somethin on that side i will never see a flicker a flame never ending what is left in me I stare back trapped here slowly watching as my soul what soul? she moves forward on a mission breathe slowly no longer lingering another moment hard and hot the water covers me reminding the spark wanting mo

looking back by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

looking back

Days like these I wish I didn't open my mouth I almost cherish the pain of being the only one It always seems to get worse when i try to talk to someone People tell me its the right thing to do but as soon as its done, Everyone is angry. As if I didn't have the right to be in pain to be in the dark. As if. I don't think I can take any more heartbreak or watch as our love dies and i don't say a word I want to leave But I don't want to be alone But I know that if I stay, I will wash away. Ive been dreaming lately, about dying and watching all the people not even notice I was gone. Or how easy it will be for everyone to forgot

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Sometimes Im suprised that Ive Lasted this long. by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Sometimes Im suprised that Ive Lasted this long.

The days grow dark by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

The days grow dark

I struggle to breathe by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

I struggle to breathe

For as long as I can rmember, by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

For as long as I can rmember,

Colours by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Colours

Mirrors. by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

Mirrors.

looking back by onlyyouneedtoknow, literature

Literature

looking back

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About onlyyouneedtoknow

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June 1
Canada
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Ive changed
I am not close to the person I once was.
Some ways thats a good thing, and somethings i extremely regret. Life is full of balance though. Give/get, love/hate, pain and numbness. You just have to learn what to cope with, and what to let in.

Current Residence: Cow Town Alberta. I live by myself atm. As we are moving and everyone is emptying out. Hopefully Ill find a new place with my boyfriend, but I may just move by myself...
deviantWEAR sizing preference: small-medium.
Print preference: any
Favourite genre of music: I dont really have a genre, anything that makes me feel what the music feels.
Favourite photographer: none atm
Favourite style of art: Traditional Tattoos
Operating System: Mac OSX
MP3 player of choice: Ipod touch
Shell of choice: My outer shell. Have to keep this beast locked up somehow
Wallpaper of choice: a quite ocean green
Skin of choice: No choice :3
Favourite cartoon character: peter pan
Personal Quote: I asked a women what she wanted to be when she was 25, she turned around, looked at me and said "alive".

Favourite Visual Artist

N/A

Favourite Movies

The Labrinyth with David Boye

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Brand New, Panic at the Disco!, Fall out boy,Emery, Coldplay, Crystal Castles, White Lies, Kanye West, Jay-Z, Deadmau5, Skrillex, anything that makes me feel something.

Favourite Writers

Charles Dickens

Favourite Games

Minecraft

Favourite Gaming Platform

Tools of the Trade

Paint, photoshop and good old lighting

Other Interests

Music!!, books, classical music, art, media arts, web design, horse back riding, Travelling, Living.

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onlyyouneedtoknow

Dec 1, 2013

Just some thoughts on my life

0 min read

I sit here in my boyfriends house, quietly typing away on his dad's computer. Not to far away his little sister sleeps like a rock on the couch. Not even a earthquake could wake her. I turn off Sherlock and wonder how such a sweet girl could sleep so soundly with the whole world alive around her. In comparison our lives are very different. She has lived a life of comfort, and I a life of struggle. But something draws us together that is beyond our common ground. An ideal to be different and because of this, Maggie is my favorite. She shines light on memories I have long since forgotten. (Or chose to ignore?) I sometimes wonder that if I had b

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onlyyouneedtoknow

Jun 25, 2013

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

I cant believe this shit. I honestly want to scream and die almost every day. I thought life would get better? Well thats bullshit because all Ive done is gain weight and loose everything. Its maddening because I thought I deserved to be happy. That I could really have something I deserved once in my life. But now if i keep what I have deserved for soooo very long, Ill slowly loose everythign else. OR I give him up,the one thing that makes me happy. The one personI could survive anything with. Makes me start to wonder about love, and how I used to have so much of it. Makes me want to jump off a bridge. Kick babies in the face etc etc etc.

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onlyyouneedtoknow

Jul 14, 2012

Note to self # 1 Things not to do

0 min read

I have come to the sudden conclusion that its a bad idea to tell someone that you like them. This decision came to me quiet suddenly when I decided that it wouldnt hurt to open my mouth and tell my handsome Plaza neighbor that he indeed, was handsome. He said nothing back but confirmed my fears by stating he already "figured" that I liked him. I gues my "hello handsome" comments werent nearly as suttle as I had hoped. (or did I?) For some reason I didnt think this would effect me at all, but when I went to say it I lost all eye contact with him, started to blush and my heart sped up. I havent felt that good in months and it terrified me. I a